Dissociation: What is it and how to cope

Dissociation: What is it and how to cope

Dissociation is the mind’s beautiful and messed-up way of protecting us from difficult traumas. It can be a really useful tool for getting through those bad moments - but the difficult thing about it is, you most likely don’t realise you’re doing it until much later.

According to the DSM-5, there are several different dissociative disorders people can experience, and while it’s not officially described as a “spectrum,” it often feels like one. I experience dissociation through C-PTSD, but others may experience depersonalisation/derealisation, dissociative amnesia, dissociative identity disorder (DID), and more.

Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID), formerly known as multiple personality disorder is probably the most well-known of the dissociative disorders, and also one of the most misunderstood. It involves a person having distinct identity states that share the same brain, often formed through repeated trauma in early childhood. These identity states may or may not be aware of one another. It’s not the same as changing how you act or speak in different social settings — it’s the brain’s most protective survival mechanism. (Think “Split,” but without the Hollywood exaggeration and villain energy.)

What Happens With Dissociation?

There are so many ways someone can begin dissociating, whether they’ve got too much going on in their head, they’ve been reminded of something painful, or they’re going through trauma in real time.

For me personally, dissociation usually happens in one of three ways: when I’m overstimulated by stress, when I’m triggered by something, or when I’m in the middle of something emotionally overwhelming. Some people can trace their dissociation back to early experiences, for me, it started during my first major traumatic event.

Because the brain and our emotions can’t handle what’s happening, we slip into a state of dissociation; a kind of mental “shutdown” where we don’t have to fully deal with what’s going on. While it’s an incredibly clever coping mechanism, it can also be unhelpful at times, and sometimes even lead us into repeating painful situations.

In some cases, especially where trauma began in childhood, the brain might create distinct “parts” or identity states to hold those overwhelming experiences. This isn’t about “creating new personalities,” but rather about the brain’s way of keeping the conscious mind safe from unbearable pain.

Ways to Manage or Ground During Dissociation

It’s important to note: dissociation is not something you can just overcome in a neat, linear way. Healing is slow, and that’s okay. If you experience dissociation, be patient with yourself. Your brain is doing what it learned to do to keep you safe.
And if you can, try to find a psychologist or therapist who specialises in trauma and dissociation. Having someone who understands this stuff makes a world of difference.

Here are some of the things that help me:

1. Mindfulness

I know, I know, we all hear it constantly. And it’s genuinely a tough one to master (I struggle with it too). But mindfulness is one of the most important tools for anyone who dissociates.

When I’m going through something stressful, or even sitting in therapy, I’ll often hold something in my hands like a fidget toy, a ring, my phone case, literally anything. It helps me stay grounded because my brain continues to register what my body is touching.
It’s a small reminder that I’m here, in my body, in this moment — not back there, wherever “there” was.

2. Keep an Open Dialogue

Most people who dissociate go quiet; they stop responding, stop registering what’s around them, and pull inward. Once you’ve laid some groundwork with mindfulness, try keeping an open dialogue, with someone else, or even with yourself.

Talking out loud (even quietly) can be another form of grounding. Describe what you can see, hear, or feel. It might sound strange, but it helps bring your brain back online and reconnects your thoughts to your environment.

3. Move Your Body

When you’re feeling detached, physical grounding can help bring you back.
Try walking barefoot, stretching, shaking out your hands, or holding onto something cold. Movement helps your brain register that you’re safe, here, and real.

Resources

If you’re struggling with dissociation, or just trying to better understand it, here are a few resources that might help:

Or, if you just want to have a laugh, our 'sorry can you repeat that? I was busy dissociating' box fit t-shirts are available! Or, shop more at Mentally Offline!

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