Overthinking: When Your Mind Won't be Quiet

Every single person in the world has had a moment where they’ve overthought something; what to wear, the way we spoke to someone, even what time to get up in the morning. We can so easily get trapped in this thinking pattern. It starts with a bit of nervousness, and spreads into thinking this way about every part of our life.

Truthfully, overthinking is one of the most common forms of anxiety. It builds into a big spiral of thoughts and emotions, and it can feel like you’re in a vicious cycle you can’t stop. Like a rollercoaster you can’t get off. It can be so difficult to detach yourself from this never-ending train of thoughts. Some people feel it in their chest, some feel it in their stomach. and then suddenly something takes over and you can’t stop feeling anxious. So what is actually happening in our brain when we overthink?

How does Overthinking Work?

Overthinking can stem from so many parts of our mental health: insecurity, social anxiety, decision-making, people-pleasing… I could go on. Essentially, it’s our brain’s way of scanning for danger and trying to prevent it. Your mind is trying (a little too hard) to keep you safe.

At some point in life, usually during our teens or early adulthood, we develop certain triggers or patterns that kick this spiral into gear. Over time, the pattern becomes stronger, and our brain starts using it in other parts of life too. We can go from overthinking how we interact with a high school crush to running 30 minutes late because we can’t decide how to do our hair. It’s almost like a vine that slowly grows across different parts of our mind. Before we know it, we’re overthinking everything.

My Experience With Overthinking

As someone who has a lot of empathy and emotions, I often overthink a lot of social situations: the way I spoke to someone, the way they spoke to me, if they even wanted to speak to me, that moment of silence between conversation topics, how I eventually leave the conversation, whether the way I left was rude, how I act after I walk away, if my side profile looks weird… and on and on and on.

See how it spirals?

Here’s the secret though: 99.99% of the time, the person on the other end isn’t thinking about it. Or they don’t care. It sounds harsh, but usually their brain is somewhere completely different. Every time I’ve had a moment of overthinking, it’s never as big a deal as I made it out to be. So how do we break away from this pattern?

How to Manage Overthinking

Like everything with mental health, it’s a long process and takes time to iron out, so please be mindful and patient with yourself.

1. Name the emotion and the thought

Any time you catch yourself in a spiral, just start by recognising it. You don’t need to name every single thought, that would take forever. Something simple like “I’m definitely spiralling a bit here” is enough. This is the first step in detaching from the pattern - recognising it. While it’s important to feel our feelings, but a full thought spiral isn’t the healthiest way to do that.

2. Distract yourself (in a way that actually helps)

This one can be tough. Sometimes the wave of thoughts feels so strong that distraction seems impossible. The trick is to find something meaningful that works for you. Some people can play a game on their phone, go for a short walk, or ground themselves by listening to the sounds around them. For others, it’s a little harder in that overthinking can feel like a heavy weight on your shoulders that you don’t have the strength to life off. Think about your hobbies, your comfort shows, or small things you genuinely enjoy, and start there to find something that really works for you.

3. Record your thoughts

This helps me so much. Some people don’t like journaling or can’t be bothered writing - totally valid. If that’s you, try recording a voice memo before bed. Just talk it out. Dumping your thoughts before you rest can help your brain settle and make sleeping a little easier.

If you relate to this (maybe a little too much), the Overthinker Tee was made for exactly this feeling — a reminder that your brain can be chaotic and still loveable.